Pocket full of sunshine...or not!

I'm sure you are all wondering what happened to my fat ass, right? Well never fear I'm still here. I've been having what I call a "challenging" week. The man is clearly keeping me down. It's hard to be creative, funny and highly entertaining when you do mortgage by day. Actually, the mere fact that I haven't killed myself, killed someone else or eaten myself into a food coma is quite a miracle. I've been watching re-runs of "Snapped" in hopes that I can find someone worse off than me. Hmmm....women who kill their husbands. Are they worse off than me? Can't be sure. I like it when they get away with it. Sick I know.

I haven't forgotten that you are all waiting to hear about the big fair. I promise to get to it soon. I feel it's better to keep you waiting than underwhelm you with my cynical attitude. On that note...so I'm having a really bad day and I call one of my homies for a beer or 12. Those who know me know this doesn't happen often as I typically chose sugar & hibernation over booze. I dialed the number only to be bombarded with annoyingly loud music while it's waiting to connect me! Hate this! To make matters worse....it's some stupid song about having a pocket full of sunshine! Kiss my Cooter! I got yer pocket full a sunshine. And then I get voicemail that's not even personalized! So you take the time to play me some lame ass song and you can't even identify yourself on the voicemail? On second thought that makes perfect sense. If you have annoying "on hold" music on your cell phone, take it off immediately if not sooner! No one wants to hear your stupid favorite song while you avoid coming to the phone!

As you can see I am disturbingly bitter. There is something you can do to help. I am currently accepting donations to my charity... "Dumbasses who don't know when to get out of Real Estate because we they are greedy behaaatches who think the market will come back" Foundation. That's "DWDKWTGOREBTAGBWTTMWCB" for short. The money goes to a good cause. Cause I need it! I am working on my "happy face." I'm hopeful that it will return on Wednesday so that I can tell you about the fair. If it doesn't, perhaps I can turn this blog into a militant hate site. I think I could reign supreme with that agenda in mind. I hope you are having a lovely day. I'm going to drink beer and pretend I got sex. It's all about the fantasy.