What's the point...

Today I've decided to rage war on my scales. They are secretly plotting against me. Yes folks it's time for the semi-monthly diet search where you too can be a loser! This months winner is Weight Watchers. When it comes to overthrowing the scales, you need to bring in the big guns...the points! I'm not a big fan of points but let's face it, I'm not a big fan of pounds either! Enough of the eat less and excersise more theory. Some dumb guy obviously made that up after he started taking the stairs and switched to light beer.

If I were to list every diet I've been on, not only would you be visibly frightened, I may send myself into shock. Let's just say I've done my homework and leave it at that. So I go online and it's roughly $65 to lose wieght with points. That's 4 #3's, supersized over a month, carry the one, divided by 3....oh hell it seemed reasonable! After prompt payment the evil little point system demanded to know my weight, height and when I wanted to weigh in. Seemed very cattle herding esk and I wanted no part of handing over this information. I had to laugh when the sub-question popped up "Do you suffer from bulimia?" Duh! I'f I did I'd be puking not counting points! Then it asked me if I was pregnant and another sub-screen popped up that said, "Only answer if you are a woman?" What, now that the gays can marry we fear that they are going to get pregnant and take over Weight Watchers?! I'm starting to question the strength of these points but I'm in for $65 so I continue...

I inidicated that I wanted to weigh in on Friday bcs, well if I screw up on the weekend I'll have til next Friday to fix it and let's face it, I'm re-born every Monday and I won't even being doing this stupid diet by next Friday! Deep breath....I would have prefered it to ask me when I wanted to start as I typically need a day to gorge before starting the next assult. The big question was...how many points would I be given and would the system know how active I am and give me extra ammo? Yeah, 22 points and 6 extra for the exercise! Hardly seems fair. I could eat 22 points parked at the drive-through! My healthy breakfast would eat up 6. It's getting ugly.

Instantly I became overwhelmed and asked my lunch buddy out for Fat Girl Lunch Hour. All matters of fat are discussed this way. She assured me she knew of several fatties that have lost on this plan. But you see...I am a closet fatty. That's an extra layer of complexity. I decided to do what I do best and worry about that tomorrow. Very Scarlett O'hara of me. Yes, tomorow I will be militant point girl along with ever other overweight woman in America. I will not however be going to the FA (Fatties Anonymous) meetings. It's too shameful. The scales, the confessions, the fatties. It's just too much.

As I close out this Tuesday I know that tomorrow will be a better day bcs I have planned my battle with $65 worth of ammunition and 22 strategic victory points. I will have to take a break on the 4th bcs there's not enough points for me to drink my way into the Weight Watcher record books. I have named my battle WW2. That's Weight Watchers 2. I tried it a while back but I was emotionally unavaiable for battle at that time. Thought for tomorrow...If we are comparing notes on our men and they all do the same stupid things, "Is it possible we have isolated a dumb guy gene?' Stay tuned...