Happy New Year Fatties! This is our time of year! It's game on! Who will win the Fatty Oscar? Will the cream of the fat crop rise to the top and stop eating in time for the summer reveal?Can't be sure. I just know I got a pair of velour pants from 89' with tags on um that pretty much guarantees I'll be going home empty handed! Why is that? Because one day I will fit into them. One day when the 80s come back I'll be ready. That's my goal. Who needs an Oscar with the 80's hanging tough in my closet? When it comes down to it it's an all out war. It's Oscar vs. Oscar Meyer... and I'm walking away a "wiener"...thas how I roles! The New Year does nothing but reinforce my commitment to not committing. That's about as healthy as it gets.
I like to go against the grain whenever possible...bcs I don't do grains...whole or otherwise. I officially started my New Year's diet on...well I haven't exactly started per say but I'm verging. In order to start I need to decide what I'll be giving up. Let's see...I've already given up sizes 2, 4, 6 and 8 and I'm working on 10 soooo...not sure where to go from here. Why must I part with the things I love to ring in the new year? Why can't I expand on the list of things that further my expansion ? Like instead of giving up of fries (which is akin to giving up a kidney in my world) why not vow to upgrade to loaded fries or fries with ranch dressing? Let's expand on that shall we? If there were an award for contributions by a condiment for enrichment of others...Ranch Dressing is bringing home the Cecil B. Demille. That's just a fact. Like it or not. I'll break it down like this...Ranch Dressing is banging Brad Pitt and Ketchup can't even keep Vince Vaughn entertained. Feel me?
Who will walk away a wiener? It's just too early to tell. A good fatty will sneak up on you. We are only 15 days into the new year after all. At two pounds a week...time is on our side! Speaking from experience, I can go from an all out fatty to not too shabby in about 8 weeks. So I think I'll role with that plan. That allows my fries a few extra months to bang Brad Pitt while the overachieving fatties put Ketchup on their baked potatoes and brag that Wendy's has healthy alternatives. Whatever. I don't "go out" for baked potatoes. I can get that crap at home. The mere sight of that red-headed Wendy's girl and I'm biggie sizin my fries all the way to the front of the line. NEVER will you hear me order a baked potato with fries on the ready. It's like gettin an Oscar for a movie you weren't in. It's un-American. I think I speak for the Academy when I say that fries take home the prize every time!
What the hell is a Sister in Fat? It's a bond uniting women everywhere. The inner fatty living deep within all of us. She convinces us supersizing is acceptable as long as we wash it down with a Diet Coke. Here at SIF we celebrate "New Me Monday" EVERY Monday, eat lunch at high noon and hide food from those who judge us. It's not about size sisters. If you have an inappropriate relationship with food and obsess over weight loss/gain...you ARE a SIF! Welcome Home!
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