The forecast calls for....

A baby shower! God help us all! Ok so this is a delayed posting but I've been busy, so chill. For those of you who think this blog is all about food and fat, you're partially correct. However, I've decided to vent about everything that shakes me to the core. Even if it's non-food related. So back to the crumb snatchers.....So I was invited to a baby shower over the weekend. Babies and me...we don't mix. I arrived early to survey the most important thing at any party...the food. Little did I know I was to become part of the catering crew. I don't mind the slave labor...but I'm about as fond of cooking as I am of babies. I did my part by smearing pimento cheese on crustinis and wrapping melon balls in prosciutto. Yeah....where's the seven layer dip I ask?! That was followed by roasted asparagus, some sort of salmon tea cakes and more stuff I can't pronounce.

Soon the house filled with people in search of seven layer dip. I could see it in their eyes. We marveled at the spread and decided to take the plunge into foo foo land! I ate everything but the crustless salmon sandwiches. I ask you..."What about that sounds good?" I must say though... everything was quite lovely. We drank cheap wine and ate expensive food. Can it get any better than that? Well yes quite frankly! My head in a bowl of 7 layer dip and a beer would be just peachy. I'm low rent...what can I say.

I must have drank a bottle of wine on my own just to make it through the opening of the gifts. Again...not a big baby person. Bla bla onesies and Binky's galour! I slapped some spinach dip on my plate and smiled my way through the pain bcs key lime pie was next on the agenda. A bunt cake would have worked but clearly bunt and salmon tea cakes don't sit together on the bus if you know what I mean! Did I mention the baby isn't due for another month and a half and it already weighs 8 lbs! Take a moment to process that...

So I left the baby shower with a cheap wine headache and expensive burps. It was enough birth control for at least 20 years. As I drove home I tried to see myself cooking fancy food and serving it to my husband . I realized something. A. That's never going to happen bcs I have no desire to cook for my husband and 2. I would have to use real plates (we like paper) and that would mean doing the dishes. Not happening!

Permission to topic jump? Riddle me this...if you order fat girl food and your lunch date orders a salad, how many fries are they allowed to steal before you call them out. Stay tuned...