Let me start by saying that I haven't fallen off the wagon... yet. Quite a milestone for a Tuesday! However, if you smell chocolate while reading this, there's a good chance it's because I'm eating some. Aunt Flo is visiting and that bitch has no shame! She can take a fat girl down in a heartbeat! No worries...it's a Powerbar. Invented by a man to make you feel better about eating 20 grams of sugar. So anyway...I was reliving my weekend (pre-martini) and I had a sudden flashback from my drive of shame through McDonald's (post martini) drive-thru. After placing my order for a #2 supersized with a Coke (true fat girls know all about some #2 combo!), I pulled around to pay the toothless wonder tasked with collecting my dollars of sinful shame. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a firetruck was pulling in. Several thoughts came to mind:
1. If there's a fire they betta get my #2 through that window before the place burns down! I am one hung over heffa and there aint nothin like a McDonald's #2 to make a SIF feel better.
2. Firetrucks have hot firefighters...or maybe not! I'm all worried about my fat ass being in line for a #2 as I'm watching a parade of guts & suspenders jumping off the truck! I'd like to say it ruined my appetite but that's just not possible. I was hoping the firefighter from my gym wasn't on board as I live a lie Monday thru Friday and wasn't prepared to face him with a #2 in my hands.
I was planning on driving home to eat my #2 but that would have been a shad too civilized for this SIF. I was half way through my fries when I decided to pull around back, hide and eat in a parking space. I have a certain fry to burger bite ratio that I like to adhere to and it was now thrown off by my indecisiveness. Small problem but a problem nonetheless. Then I remembered I super-sized my #2 and all was right with the world. At the end of the day I had to ask myself..."If your favorite combo meal is named #2, should you find some hidden meaning there?" Let's add to that..."Can any good come from super-sizing your #2?" Stay tuned..
What the hell is a Sister in Fat? It's a bond uniting women everywhere. The inner fatty living deep within all of us. She convinces us supersizing is acceptable as long as we wash it down with a Diet Coke. Here at SIF we celebrate "New Me Monday" EVERY Monday, eat lunch at high noon and hide food from those who judge us. It's not about size sisters. If you have an inappropriate relationship with food and obsess over weight loss/gain...you ARE a SIF! Welcome Home!
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