Ok...so as more and more fatties join the "club", more questions arise. I have kept the key to membership (in the SIF club) a secret for some time now. Many of you are wondering, can anyone qualify to be a SIF? Yes. If you enjoy reading the blog, then you have issues. Issues are the foundation of a SIF. That along with strong ankles! Speaking of which, my cankles are killing me today. Must be that jelly donut put me over the edge last night. Do I enjoy making fun of "fat" people? Ahhh, yeah! Fat is a state of mind my friends! From the single digits to the sizes that have more digits than the Federal Deficit...we are all fatties at heart! If we can't laugh at the things we do, we shouldn't be doing them! If you have a serious eating disorder...puking, not eating (serious!), or you have to be removed from your bed by EMT's...this site isn't poking fun at you! In fact, it's sort of a public intervention to keep from becoming you. The SIF don't have serious medical or mental issues....well I've seen the roster...motion to strike mental. We are just a bunch of sisters who look in the mirror, are disgusted by what we see and think BMI stands for Bring More Icecream! That's not what it means? If you don't fit the mold, it's ok. You can still enjoy our self-loathing rants. Still not sure if you are a SIF? Here are the Top 10 Signs you might be a SIF:
1. You unbuckle your seat belt 2miles before pulling your car into the restaurant parking lot.
2. Your waitress looks at you and tells YOU your order.
3. You pull up to the drive thru, place your order and they respond, "Hello "your name here."
4. You have never heard the term "Doggie Bag."
5. If someone asks for a "bite"... you glare, say sure and then mentally stab them w/ your fork.
6. When asked what you'd like for a "side" you respond, "Ranch."
7. You order fried everything...with a Diet Coke.
8. You have fat clothes and skinny clothes...skinny being the ones with tags.
9. You can't make conversation when eating....aside from random grunts of pleasure.
10. You are a mood eater...happy, sad, and everything in between.
10.5 Lunch hour begins at high noon...FGLH!
I could go on and on all day, really. You get the idea. Just like the Hair Club for Men, FCFF is free and confidential. Entry is as simple as coming to grips with your inner fatty. We all know who you are. If you happen to see a strange woman wink at you in a restaurant, look deeply into her eyes for "fat deposits." You'll know the signs when you meet a real SIF!
What the hell is a Sister in Fat? It's a bond uniting women everywhere. The inner fatty living deep within all of us. She convinces us supersizing is acceptable as long as we wash it down with a Diet Coke. Here at SIF we celebrate "New Me Monday" EVERY Monday, eat lunch at high noon and hide food from those who judge us. It's not about size sisters. If you have an inappropriate relationship with food and obsess over weight loss/gain...you ARE a SIF! Welcome Home!
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